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Claire Spencer, APRN

Navigating the Heartbreak of a Child's Suicidal Ideation: A Parent's Journey

As a parent, there are few things more heartbreaking than hearing your child say, “I want to die, Mommy.” Those words can hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you overwhelmed with confusion, fear, and heartache. You may find yourself asking, "What did I do wrong? What did I miss? I don’t understand; they seem happy most of the time." In these moments, it’s crucial to recognize that your child’s feelings are not a reflection of your parenting or their worth; instead, they can signal underlying struggles that need attention. Suicidal ideation in children can arise for various reasons, and understanding the warning signs and potential root causes is vital for every parent.


So, what does suicidality look like in children? It can manifest in ways that might not be immediately obvious. Your child may express sadness or hopelessness, but it can also present as changes in behavior, like withdrawing from friends or activities they once loved. You might notice sudden emotional outbursts or hear them talking about death, which are serious red flags. Physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches, especially without a medical reason, can also indicate emotional pain. A decline in grades or a lack of interest in school can signal that something deeper is troubling them.


If you find yourself in this challenging situation, it’s essential to respond with love and understanding. Start by creating a safe space for open dialogue; let your child know they can talk to you without fear of judgment. Listen actively and ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share their feelings. It’s important to validate their emotions by acknowledging their pain and reassuring them that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. Don’t hesitate to ask direct questions about their thoughts on self-harm—your concern can help them feel understood.


Seeking professional help is a crucial step. Involve a mental health professional who can provide a proper assessment and recommend interventions. If your child is in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to call emergency services or take them to the nearest emergency room. Additionally, ensure safety by removing access to any items that could be used for self-harm, as safety should always be your first priority.


Building a support network is also vital; reach out to trusted family members or friends to share your concerns. Having a support system can help both you and your child feel less isolated and more empowered to face this challenge together. Educating yourself about mental health issues and their signs can further empower you to act effectively. Utilize reputable resources to inform yourself and gain insights into how best to support your child.


Encouraging healthy coping strategies can make a difference as well. Promote activities that your child enjoys—whether it’s sports, art, or spending time with friends—as positive distractions can provide relief from emotional pain. Lastly, keep the conversation going by regularly checking in with your child about their feelings. Let them know you’re there for them and that it’s okay to talk about what they’re experiencing.


Support Resources for Children and Parents

If you’re looking for additional support, there are many resources available to help you and your child navigate these difficult times:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) for 24/7, free, and confidential support.

Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor via text message.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline: Call 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357) for information and referrals to mental health services.

The Trevor Project: Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth. Call 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678.

Child Mind Institute: Offers resources and articles about mental health for children and families. Visit their website at childmind.org.


Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many parents face similar challenges, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate these turbulent waters. With love, understanding, and the right support, you can help your child find a path toward healing. Together, you can work through this and move toward brighter days ahead




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